Focus, negative focus.

I have too much pride, and too little patience. How can I switch that?
I'm tired of so many things - I am tired of rehashing things. In an argument just say what you want once. Once is all it takes. It saves time and my nerves. Apparently my parents have that one thing in common.

Sheesh. I'm zonked. I had my last day of training at Outback today, and come home to face the wrath of a man scorned by his girlfriend's rantings. Ranting on how I left my sister's clean laundry out. I had to go to work. At least it was clean. I could have left her grimy garments laying about for all to see and smell. But, that wasn't the case. Let's all just focus on the negatives.

Wow, the last two blogs of mine are on the arguments I have had with my father. Which, is oddly surprising given that I never argued with my Dad until I moved in with him. We've only had the two arguments that I've documented. I suppose writing is my medium of coping.

There is just something so soothing about the fast paced button pressing that helps me rant and rave. It's like with each touch of a key, I release a small increment of stress through each tip of my fingers. Pens, pencils, markers, crayons, whatever you have just don't do the trick for me as easily. I think it is because my hand begins to cramp up which is just adding to the irritation I already have.

I swore to myself I wouldn't let this be like a diary - that I wasn't going to publish my personal feelings that happen in my everyday life. But, screw it. I'm withholding the more personal things, the things I tell to my close friends. The things I don't even tell them. This is just the outer layer of feelings I am willing to share with anyone who asks, even if she turned out to be Rita Skeeter (for all of you Harry Potter fans out there.)

Give me a break, will ya? Yeah, world, I am talking to you. A little mercy and weed will mellow me out, not that I want the latter. Legal or not, I don't want it... same with prostitution - just because it is legal in Switzerland doesn't mean I would want it or desire to do it. Switzerland never picks sides on anything, apparently. But I will be damned if some TN authoritative figure tells me I can't live with 8 other ladies in the same house. Brothel Law, my toe.